Step 1: Take a walk to feel better about your past rejection.
Step 2: See her from down the street.
Step 3: Notice her front.
Step 4: Acknowledge her back.
Step 5: “Wow, what a time to be alive,” you think.
Step 6: Try to work up the courage to talk to her.
Step 7: Think about how everyone has awkward interactions.
Step 8: Walk up to her.
Step 9: “HeEEEEllo!” 
Step 10: Try to muster a smile.
Step 11: Realize you’re just baring your teeth like an aggressive dog.
Step 12: “My name is T-Tanuk,” you stutter out. 
Step 13: Quickly thrust your hand out.
Step 14: Punch her arm instead.
Step 15: Stare at her in disbelief.
Step 16: Watch as she holds back her laughter.
Step 17: Quickly back away from embarrassment.
Step 18: Look behind you.
Step 19: See her smiling at you as you scurry away.
Step 20: Out of fear of running into the beauty of the west, wait 11 days before going out again. 
Step 21: After being distracted by your own hand for three hours, go to the local coffee shop for a pick-me-up.
Step 22: Order a vanilla caramel frappuccino because coffee gives the jitters.
Step 23: Scarf down a muffin.
Step 24: Scan the room to see if anyone noticed.
Step 25: See her in the coffee shop.
Step 26: Think of all of the ways you can go up to her. Maybe you could slyly mention how it’s crazy seeing her here or say she needs to stop stalking you.
Step 27: Notice she’s staring at you.
Step 28: Smile with all your might.
Step 29: Say “what the fuck are you doing here” while trying to smile with straight teeth.
Step 30: Watch her face turn to disgust as you realize what you said and how you look.
Step 31: Look up at the ceiling mirror.
Step 32: Think of No Face from Spirited Away as you stare into your dead eyes.
Step 33: Put your head down in shame.
Step 34: Wait another 5 days before going out again.
Step 35: Run out of moisture from crying so much.
Step 36: Go to the farmer’s market to grab food for dinner for the next couple of days.
Step 37: “Why are eggs always so expensive,” you contemplate.
Step 38: “They’re just chicken periods,” you sternly think.
Step 39: See the love of your life with another man. 
Step 40: Panic about the fact you’re alone.
Step 41: Frantically look around.
Step 42: Grab the shortest person you see.
Step 43: See she’s staring at you.
Step 44: She’s weirded out.
Step 45: Frantically look down at your clothing.
Step 46: See nothing is wrong.
Step 47: Look at who you grabbed.
Step 48: It’s an elderly man with fetal alcohol syndrome.
Step 49: Oh no. 
Step 50: Quickly run away.
Step 51: Look back to see what the man is doing.
Step 52: Watch as he just stares at you.
Step 53: He is slowly waving like a horror movie caricature.
Step 54: Act like you didn’t grab this disabled man. 
Step 55: Pretend you didn’t see your love.
Step 56: Start to look at the art around you.
Step 57: Get enthralled with the elephant painting in front of you.
Step 58: Turn around quickly to ask about buying it.
Step 59: Crash into the lady you like.
Step 60: Apologize profusely.
Step 61: Help her clean herself.
Step 62: Wipe off the excess coffee you spilled on her.
Step 63: Stop helping as you realize you’re stroking her chest.
Step 64: Stare at her with your widened eyes.
Step 65: Run away.
Step 66: Think about becoming a basement hermit.
Step 67: Sit in your parent’s basement thinking about how badly you’ve joshed it.
Step 68: Think of ways to apologize for your behavior.
Step 69: Find the perfect apology gift.
Step 70: Google her address.
Step 71: It’s the third result on the fourth page.
Step 72: Write her address down. 
Step 73: Fill in necessary information to deliver a perfect apology present.
Step 74: Spend 300 dollars.
Step 75: Send the 6 foot jar of blueberry jam in the sculpture of your nude body.
Step 76: She wants to meet up at a restaurant to talk things out.
Step 77: Oh, golly. 
Step 78: It worked.
Step 79: Wear your nicest button up.
Step 80: Stare at your flame shirt and think of Guy Fieri: the ultimate playboy.
Step 81: Start driving to Denny’s.
Step 82: Park the car next to her’s so you can walk her to her vehicle.
Step 83: Look at your car side mirror.
Step 84: Make sure you are all fixed up.
Step 85: Start walking inside.
Step 86: Run through all of the different topics you are going to talk about.
Step 87: See you are smiling bigger than your first child’s birth.
Step 88: Find her sitting in a booth in the back.
Step 89: Notice a police officer standing next to her.
Step 90: “It’s a trap”, you yell at yourself.
Step 91: “It didn’t work. At all.”
Step 92: Keep walking.
Step 93: Act like nothing happened.
Step 94: “Hi’s it going,” you ask like you just smoked an ounce of weed.
Step 95: “Sir, have you been messaging this woman,” asked the officer with an eyepatch.
Step 96: Sheepishly reply, “yes, but we’re trying to date.”
Step 97: “Okay, but here’s the thing. She thinks you are creepier than Freddy Krueger.”
Step 98: Stare at him shocked.
Step 99: “Do you know who Mr. Krueger is,” asks the officer.
Step 100: “He has a face fucked up like yours and he murders people,” shouted the officer with a pornstache and chewing gum obnoxiously.
Step 101: Start to freak out.
Step 102: You went too far.
Step 103: Trip over your shoelaces.
Step 104: Catch yourself before crashing into the other officer.
Step 105: Leave the restaurant.
Step 106: They shout, “stop messaging Eunice! She’s 77-years-old and has a weak heart!”
Step 107: Learn your lesson.
Step 108: Delete any trace of Eunice from your phone.
Step 109: Go to a bar outside of the city limits to avoid Eunice.
Step 110: Drink two shots of Everclear and down two pints of Coors.
Step 111: Stare in front of you.
Step 112: Contemplate your life.
Step 113: See potential love staring at you as you stare off in the distance.
Step 114: Think about ways to introduce yourself.
Step 115: “Hi, I noticed you staring at me staring at you,” you confidently say.
Step 116: She giggles.
Step 117: Talk about where you’re from and your passions.
Step 118: You tell her you’re passionate about romance.
Step 119: She doesn’t believe you.
Step 120: Ask her to meet you at a new bar.
Step 121: “Why,” she questions. 
Step 122: Tell her this will be worth it but you can’t tell her yet.
Step 123: She agrees.
Step 124: Go to previous love’s house and see if the statue is still there.
Step 125: Sneak on her lawn to grab the statue.
Step 126: Leave a note so Eunice isn’t shocked you took her monument.
Step 127: Drive to the new bar with the artifact.
Step 128: See her sitting on a bench outside. 
Step 129: Pull up next to her.
Step 130: Accidentally run over a bunny.
Step 131: Ignore the blood splatter on the pavement.
Step 132: Hope she doesn’t care.
Step 133: She doesn’t even shift her eyes.
Step ???: Ask if she’s ready for a grand gesture.
Step 156: She has her eyes closed and shouts “Yes!”
Step 157: Pull the curtain off the infamous donation you provided.
Step 158: Reveal the 6 foot blueberry jam statue of yourself.
Step 159: She loves it.
Step 160: Stare deeply into her purple eyes as you creep into the bar.
Step 161: Walk into the bar dawning a rainbow colored flag.
Step 162: Buy her a drink.
Step 163: Identify all of your similarities.
Step 164: Say precise statements to lure her in.
Step 165: She asks if I want to get out of here.
Step 166: “Oh my gosh. I’m in,” you think.
Step 167: “I know this place right down the street that has the most amazing ambience,” she claims.
Step 168: Agree to go with her.
Step 169: “Can you drive? I don’t have a car at the moment,” she solemnly says.
Step 170: Loudly shout, “Of course!”
Step 171: Get into your car.
Step 172: Start driving to the destination.
Step 173: “What’s the address of the place,” you question.
Step 174: “Oh, it’s just a couple blocks this way,” she states.
Step 175: Follow her directions to the place.
Step 176: Notice you are heading for the outskirts of the city.
Step 177: Start getting nervous about where you are going.
Step 178: “Turn right at the next street and we’ll be there,” she jubilantly says.
Step 179: Start looking for landmarks to text people where you are.
Step 180: Pull up to an abandoned building.
Step 181: There are only classic cars sitting in the parking lot.
Step 182: See the brightly colored Toys ‘R Us sign on the front of the property.
Step 183: Start questioning what’s going on.
Step 184: Pull out your phone to quickly text your friends.
Step 185: “Welcome to my favorite place to party!”
Step 186: Fumble to put your phone away.
Step 187: Think about how to finish the message.
Step 188: She pulls open a door and motions you in.
Step 189: Walk through the entrance and wait for your eyes to adjust.
Step 190: Notice nothing but extravagance.
Step 191: “What,” you awkwardly think as you stare in the distance.
Step 192: See the many card stations.
Step 193: Admire the tempered glass from the chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
Step 194: Count the large number of butlers walking around in case they steal something.
Step 195 Take a video of the random fountain blowing out a red colored liquid.
Step 196: Stare in disbelief of where you are.
Step 197: “Tanuk! Come here,” your love motions while holding open a door in the back corner of the room.
Step 198: Start walking to an isolated part in the back.
Step 199: Walk through and notice nothing but darkness, again.
Step 200: “Here! Put this on!”
Step 201: Freeze in fear of what’s happening.
Step 202: Remain motionless as someone puts goggles on your face.
Step 203: Open your eyes.
Step 204: Look around the room through the night vision goggles forced over your eyes.
Step 205: “Isn’t this wonderful,” she loudly questions.
Step 206: Contemplate what’s going on and whether this is worth the love.
Step 207: She kisses you.
Step 208: It is.
Step 208: Follow her around the complex as she shows you everything.
Step 209: Eat sushi from a jawless master chef.
Step 210: Put together a solar powered robot.
Step 211: Shoot a laser at a random homeless.
Step 212: Make an ice cream monster.
Step 213: Look deeply into each other’s eyes as you fight the tower of vanilla.
Step 214: She admits she’s never felt this way before.
Step 215: Ask her to marry you.
Step 216: She says yes.
Step 217: Say we should drive to Vegas right now and make it official.
Step 218: She agrees.
Step 219: Start driving the four hour trip to Vegas.
Step 220: Talk about everything you have in common.
Step 221: You are both for people speaking their opinion as long as they don’t bother others.
Step 222: The jews complain too much about what they have had to deal with.
Step 223: “I mean, they have their own country and are bombing the hell out of Palestine,” you confidently state.
Step 224: She ignorantly agrees with flamboyant mannerisms.
Step 225: You are both huge supporters of gun rights and think it’s silly people are trying to regulate them because a couple of bad seeds are shooting up children.
Step 226: You both firmly know that love at first sight is real and it’s something you are both experiencing.
Step 227: Arrive at the drive-thru wedding reception.
Step 228: Pay the fee.
Step 229: You both talk about how much you love each other.
Step 230: Get priested to the love of your life.
Step 231: Drive to the hotel.
Step 232: Start pouring champagne down both of your gullets.
Step 233: Throw the bouquet at a group of Chinese tourists heading to the M&M Store.
Step 234: Laugh it off.
Step 235: Start discussing your past.
Step 236: She calmly mentions how she broke things off with her ex because they didn’t reciprocate her love.
Step 237: Don’t care.
Step 238: You’re giving her all of your love.
Step 239: Go back to the room at Circus Circus.
Step 240: Say you are a one man circus.
Step 241: Do a backflip as soon as you arrive in the room.
Step 242: Land on your face.
Step 243: She consoles and encourages you to try again another time.
Step 244: Lay on the bed because of your severe concussion.
Step 245: Feel her coming on top of you. 
Step 246: Try to focus on what’s happening.
Step 247: She’s getting dirty.
Step 248: Try to be filthy back.
Step 249: Realize you are having trouble seeing in front of you.
Step 250: She asks “what’s wrong?”
Step 251: Tell her you think you hit your head a little hard.
Step 252: She screams you’re lying.
Step 253: She won’t stop shouting.
Step 254: She storms out of the room.
Step 255: She shouts “not again!” before she slams the door.
Step 256: Look for her around town.
Step 257: Can’t find her.
Step 258: Call her.
Step 259: She picks up.
Step 260: Apologize profusely.
Step 261: Realize she has one of those voicemails where she acts like she picked up but it’s just her voicemail.
Step 262: Hear people in the background.
Step 263: Realize it’s just her acting.
Step 264: Ask if this is actually Katrina.
Step 265: Long silence
Step 266: Dial tone 
Step 267: Text her you’re going home.
Step 268: Drive the couple of hours back.
Step 269: Text her to come to your apartment when she’s back.
Step 270: Wait three days for her.
Step 271: Hear a knock at the door.
Step 272: “It’s her”, you think.
Step 273: Quickly look at yourself in the mirror.
Step 274: Ignore all of the stains on your pants.
Step 275: “Looking good,” you think to yourself.
Step 276: Swiftly swift to the door.
Step 277: Breathe in.
Step 278: Breathe out.
Step 279: Open the door with anticipation.
Step 280: It’s a man in a suit.
Step 281: He hands over a document.
Step 282: They’re annulment papers.
Step 283: Cry.
Step 284: Go on a walk.
Step 285: See her from across the street.
Step 286: Repeat steps 1 through 227.