Commentaries on Life
Personal commentaries about situations, actions, beliefs, and ideas I’ve observed throughout my life.
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I genuinely don’t understand why people get so passionate over cars, vehicles, and automobiles. All they do is take you from point one to point two. Honestly, it’s tiring to have to feign interest for people who bought a new model of a car you see everywhere. It’s a car. What honestly makes a Ferrari…
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I wish I could say a baby is made when love is involved, but this isn’t true. Babies are also created during acts of lust, violence, oppression, and anger. Babies are made, fundamentally, when semen penetrates the shield eggs fortify themselves with. It may not stop teenage pregnancy, but it may prevent women from ever…
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It all started in Clermont-Ferrand, central France, in 1889, when brothers, Andre and Edouard Michelin, were fuelled by a vision to enhance the French automobile industry, a time when fewer than 3,000 cars in the country existed, and founded their eponymous tire company. To help motorists identify the best rubber to drive on, the Michelin…
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Throughout global history, men have discovered or uncovered answers to a multitude of existential questions. “What is Earth?” “Why are we stuck on Earth?” “Why is Earth filled with humans?” “How to eradicate humans?” These are just some of the most popular questions us hominids hold over our existence. But, without these philosophers, scientists, engineers,…
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When most think of holiday cheer, there is usually one notable figure appearing in people’s mind; Pagan god, Oden. However, there is a good portion of individuals who will mentally illustrate Santa Claus. His flamboyant personality accompanied by his boisterous belly and crafty magic give people the perception he is a gracious giver. He’s someone…
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Today, we call them eggs but did you know they went by a range of other names? The Old English used to call them an “oeg” or “ey” during medieval times. But, during the fourteenth century, many consumers borrowed “egg” from Old Norse terminology. This linguistic journey caused all kinds of opposition, leading to the…
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The N-word, we know not to use it. We know the history behind it. We know the damage it can do to one’s psyche. It’s not illegal to say, though. The only thing stopping you from using it is the social implication of what it turns you into—or having your head thrown around like a…
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We all want to live in a city where crime is nonexistent, everyone is friends with each other, and we all have consistent adventures full of merriment. For many, a place this wonderful is known as Santa Clarita, California, which is about forty minutes north of downtown Los Angeles. Here’s the thing; it isn’t. For…
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There is nothing more joy-inducing for a child, teenager, and immature adult than a pool. Floating like a dead body allows your muscles to relax and clear your mind from any worries you build up throughout the week. You might even swim laps up and down this dedicated area of chlorine as exercise. Swimming has…
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It’s a sweet gesture, it really is; who doesn’t love receiving an unexpected present? Assholes, that’s who. However, the fun ends when you start applying unnecessary pressure. It’s a present; stop turning it into an event. There is no reason there should be unsaid implications about what to do next. I know what to do…
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It’s disgusting. People like Jeffrey Dahmer and Issei Sagawa deserve to have their taste buds reevaluated. Humans are disgusting. Nothing is appealing about its taste and foodies need to understand this. Sure, it might be a delicacy if you are Sentinelese, but we have chickens for this. We need to avoid the taste of mushmeat…
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Santa Claus is the perfect model to emulate. He understands what’s genuinely important in life and it’s the collection of currency. This is why kids who are better off in their finances acquire more extravagant presents while the kin of adults who need to work four jobs are left with a shoehorn. They don’t even…
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“Do you know martial arts,” the man asks me while at the bar. I smile and tell him “No, I don’t.” As if I had just spoken to him in another language, the man blankly stared at me as if I just told him I wasn’t actually human. Here’s the thing. I absolutely know I…
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Millennials: what a bunch of bastards. They’re doing their damndest to make sure the restaurant business dies out, encouraging the idea owning a home is outdated, and that we never have to buy a single diamond again. They’re even going as far as to ruin the serial killer industry with their determination for safety and…
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Pokemon—originally named Pocket Monsters—has been around since 1996 and Nintendo doesn’t plan on stopping this forward momentum toward building up the franchise’s lore. Every couple of years, Nintendo will release a new game filled with nearly a hundred new little creatures to catch and train. In addition to this, the shows and comics help you…
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Step 1: Take a walk to feel better about your past rejection.Step 2: See her from down the street.Step 3: Notice her front.Step 4: Acknowledge her back.Step 5: “Wow, what a time to be alive,” you think.Step 6: Try to work up the courage to talk to her.Step 7: Think about how everyone has awkward…
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They’re pretty badass: tattoos. You are stabbing yourself with a plethora of needles, a thorn on a stick, or a screwdriver that was recently inside someone repeatedly until the ink penetrates deep enough into your skin. Unless you swim in the ocean right away or go through a phase of pyro-masochism, it’s unlikely your hues…
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As a man reaching 30, I should not be thinking about school uniforms anymore but here I am, lying awake and staring at the ceiling during the devil’s hour. School uniforms are not only great for fighting hazardous systems, but teaching beneficial morals to the future. Despite there being a variety of institutions mandating uniforms,…
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Have you ever tried going up to someone at a book store and asking if they would like to be your friend? Depending on your level of privilege, it can either go stupenduously well or disastruously wrong. Don’t be surprised if they scoff in your face, question your mental health, poke fun at your decaying…
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There’s nothing more upsetting than waiting for thirty minutes at a brassiere only to be delivered a meal disastruously lackluster. You are spending your hard earned money on a place you should be considering fulfilling; a place meeting your body’s quota for sustenance. However, despite the presence of Yelp, it can be hard to determine…